We are all made to feel like we are meant to know at all times how we feel and what we are doing in life, but the truth is, we aren’t meant to know that all the time. We are meant to live through uncertainty, and sometimes that means living through pain and finding a way to cope. Those moments aren’t easy, and quite often can be a really dark and confusing state of mind to be in. But if you are searching for some parallel of understanding, then Chelsea Cutler has written THE song for you as she unpacks her journey. 

“I Don’t Feel Alive” is an emotionally raw and honest track that explores the mindset Chelsea has found herself in recently while writing her forthcoming third studio album. It’s a “this is how I’m feeling right now” sort of song that doesn’t hold back in sharing her inner monologue with listeners. “If I could, I’d wake myself up when I am somebody that I’m proud of” she sings during the pre-chorus before later describing “The water goes downhill, and still I swim against the current with two arms that cannot fly”. The song has a lot of confessional moments during the first two verses like “I’m getting undressed for my lover, and praying she don’t hate all my skin like I do” which candidly describes the mindset. But as she reaches the third verse she starts describing the healthy coping mechanisms she’s putting into place to try help like “I’m learning how to set my boundaries. How to have compassion for myself and for my mind” and “I’m turning off my fucking cell phone. And trying to have honest conversations in real life”. So there is a really nice balance in the song of her honest feelings along with an understanding of what she’s doing to create boundaries for herself. 

Sonically the song feels like the perfect portal song from her sophomore record “When I Close My Eyes” into this new era as it’s in a similar dreamy soundscape. Led by guitars, keys, synths, drums, and her classic airy vocals, there is a hopeful tone that echoes the songs honest realisations. It’s immediately reassuring for anyone that might feel along in similar thoughts, and it’s a song we definitely need right now.